‘If you met Benedict, you’d find him quick to smile, quick to laugh, bubbling with enthusiasm and curiosity.’
-Benedict’s Mum
He was fascinated by maths, and would wake up at 5am on a Sunday morning to ‘play numbers’. He became a member of mensa when he was 4, although he had no idea how bright he was. He’d fall asleep at night whispering times tables under his breath.
He loved playing with his little sister, Etta, and looked after her and was her greatest cheerleader. He was once asked ‘what your superpower? What’s the one best thing that you’re able to do?’ and he thought about it and said ‘it’s when I can help Etta to open the door’. His superpower was his kind heart, and seeing how others needed help and helping them.
His asthma meant he was frequently in hospital, and during the pandemic he spent six months shielding. During that time he explored lessons, spent days in the garden, paddled in streams and learnt so much about himself, his interests and the world around him.
Benedict was a happy, contented and self-assured little boy. He would do anything to help, and was loving, snuggly, warm and happy. When someone has that energy, it’s hard not to love them.
He wanted to grow up to be a doctor, working in an air ambulance. We’ve no doubt he would have done that.
Benedict's
L E A R N I N G
Bright Spark
By the time Benedict was 1, he could do a 24 piece Thomas the Tank puzzle by himself. He matched number cards by the time he was 18 months, and when he went off to school he was writing acrostic poems and doing pie charts. His thirst for knowledge was insatiable, and his mum recalls going into a bookshop on holiday in Suffolk and asking for a book for her 4 year old that had a detailed enough diagram of the central nervous system. For all that, he had no idea he was intelligent and loved all the usual things young children do. He was obsessed with trains, and knew every one of the Thomas the Tank characters. His intelligence was a gift, but it was also a challenge. As he grew up, his parents knew the difficulty would be giving him enough of a stretch to keep things interesting.
New Ways of Learning
There’s a real challenge in teaching 10 year olds maths to a 4 year old. The way we teach a child who is ten is very different. They sit down, read worksheets, practice on their own. Benedict’s desire to learn about numbers, but the fact he developed asynchronously, so he couldn’t read, meant new approaches needed to be found. As his mother spent evenings reading through maths curriculums and watching youtube videos, it became clear how limited the education system could be for children. Not just bright sparks working years ahead of their age, but for anyone who likes to learn creatively or differently, who wants to move and learn outside, who has interests in learning about nature, or who has a different talent that isn’t recognised in the curriculum and is overlooked because the focus is on ticking the core boxes.
Flexischooling
To give him the chance to learn, Benedict spent part of his time learning in school, and part of his time home educating. Flexischooling was something his mum only found by accident, and a lot of schools turned it down. For Benedict though, it provided the perfect balance and meant he could build strong friendships at school, be part of the usual school experiences, but also had the freedom to learn in his way, at his pace, out in the big world. You can learn more about Benedict’s Flexischooling journey here.
Benedict's
A L L E R G I E S
His First Anaphylactic Experiences
When Benedict was 4 months old, he tried baby rice at Christmas dinner. Two days later, he was given a mouthful of baby porridge that contained whey powder and within minutes was choking, coughing, vomiting, wheezing and covered in hives. He was taken to hospital by ambulance, where they diagnosed a chest infection. A few weeks later, as his family tried to introduce formula mixed in with breast milk, the same thing happened and his mother put two and two together.
Testing showed multiple allergies, and he avoided milk, eggs, nuts, sesame, soya, chickpeas and kiwi. Reactions to hummus and kiwi smoothie were the red flags on some of these. After passing food challenges for nuts he had them in his diet for years, until having an anaphylactic reaction out of nowhere when he was 4 to peanut on the outside of a vegan ice cream.
Asthma and Allergic Asthma
Although allergies were a big part of Benedict’s life, asthma was the dominating fear. In winter he’d end up in hospital and usually resus every 4-6 weeks, with every snotty nose or cold going immediately to his chest. As he got older, his family were more able to manage his asthma at home but when he went blue in an asthma attack aged nearly 3, the seriousness of the condition became really clear.
As well as asthma triggered by illness, Benedict had airborne reactions to dairy – also known as allergic asthma. The first times were in a diner that made lots of milkshakes, he’d cough uncontrollably and would only calm down when taken outside and given a large dose of his inhaler. Only when the same thing happened in Costa and Starbucks did it become clear it was a theme.
Going Into The World
As Benedict grew up, there were more times where he would be out of his parent’s sight – at parties, summer schools and at school. He was sensible, and fully aware of his own allergies and would even ask his parents ‘is this ok? There’s no cows milk or nuts in it?’.
His parents had to put their trust and faith into other people, giving them as much of a briefing as possible and doing everything to avoid risks – sending safe foods, making sure they knew about the medication.
When he was 2, a nursery worker poured neat cows milk onto his Weetabix and he vomited immediately. The nursery worker claimed he’d been given oat milk, and over the next couple of hours creeping anaphylaxis saw his body swell, cover in hives, him vomit and his lips and tongue begin to swell before they admitted to the fault and he could be treated.
On 1st December 2021, Benedict woke up and opened his advent calendar and went off to school. He ate a snack and collapsed shortly afterwards. He died later on that day in hospital, and on that day the lives of his friends and his family changed forever. The loss of his happy, contagious energy makes the world an emptier place.
One thing that Benedict’s parents were sure of was that remembering Benedict should be done through the things that brought him joy. That by supporting other children to feel safe and fulfilled as they learn about themselves and their world, they would be close to the kindness and enthusiasm that he embodied. That’s why the Benedict Blythe Foundation brings together those three core strands, ensuring that all children are given the opportunities to shine, the chance to learn in and about their world, and a learning environment safe for allergy and asthma sufferers.
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